Well folks, I have to say that went fast even with all the trials and tribulations. I was going to post yesterday, but it wasn't a very good day for me. I was going to title it "Pity Party- Table for One". Everything struck me all at once yesterday and I had what I called a mini-meltdown (Mark said I just needed to cry through the pain).
Here's a quick run down of yesterday. I think from my last blog you can tell that I'm having a difficult time sleeping since I was up blogging at 0430 the other morning. Well after blogging, I went to bed and took a pain pill to see if I could rest. I slept a few hours and didn't feel too bad yesterday morning, however, I kind of had that med hangover haze. So I get up and BAM-
I get hit in the face with the scent of breakfast and am immediately nauseated by the smell. Jeff had made what would have on any other day been a wonderful scrambled egg dish for breakfast, but all I was thinking was that I couldn't get away from the smell fast enough. I am scent sensitive normally; anything too strong gives me headaches immediately, but especially when I've had previous surgeries, I'm hypersensitive. When I was in the hospital it seemed that's every single person had some perfume/ cologne on and it drove me nuts.
So...I get past the nausea part, done. I go to take a shower and the dizziness comes back that was troubling me at the hospital. At this point, I'm thinking seriously, what else is going to happen today? But I didn't let that bother me because I was looking forward to getting out and taking a walk. The beginning of the walk went really well. Obviously, I was feeling off and the fact that it was raining wasn't helping, nonetheless, things were looking ok. Then...the sidewalks were getting uneven and it wasn't all flat. Also, we turned down a road that took us farther away from the apartment than I realized. We walked something between 1/4 to 1/2 mile (I forgot my pedometer to monitor) and not to far from the apartment my incision started burning and i felt so much pressure, it took my breath away. We stopped so I could get my composure back and give me a minute so I could make it back the rest of the way. We made it back and I immediately went to lay down. The bad thing for me is it isn't like I can simply stop by a cafe and take a rest because sitting hurts me just as bad as everything else does at this time so...taking a load off and having a cappuccino isn't an option.
The rest of the day and night I was useless. I couldn't get comfortable. I couldn't get rid of the pain! I just couldn't....and I was so frustrated and mentally exhausted that I just started to cry. I cried because I'm exhausted, I'm hurting and at that moment, I just wanted it all to stop and couldn't see the end in sight. Logically, prior to coming, I psyched myself up for how painful this would be and that living with pain daily for over half my life, surely I could handle it. Boy, was I wrong! I didn't factor in the incisional pain, the fact the the bed here is no where near being comfortable, not being home, etc. Also, I didn't factor in that I can't use all my old tricks in finding a pseudo comfortable position. I had my portfolio of funky movements and contortionists maneuvers to try and get comfortable during the day, but either they don't work now or I'm afraid that if I do something "funky" that now that I'm fixed, it will cause problems. So needless to say...yesterday was a very bad day.
Now for today...I'M POST-OP WEEK 1! Mark and I had a long talk last night and I'm changing my strategy. I need to keep ahead of my meds. Yes, we we all know that I despise taking them, but mentally, this isn't the kind of pain that I can block right now. So...better living through pharmaceuticals for now. Plus, no more sitting on the living room furniture. IKEA has some nice looking stuff, but let's face it, it isn't designed for tall people (that's another problem with the bed, it's IKEA). I'm going to take shorter walks for now and try to work on more restful sleep. I consciously am not trying to do too much, I guess my brain is just saying I can do more and I want to see improvements daily since now I'm "fixed". My main goal right now is to get to a point where I can survive the plane ride home, then the rest will come once I get home and feel "right" again with my surroundings.
I have to say...even with all the incredible love and attention from my wonderful husband and all the help from my brother-in-law Jeff, this has still been one of the most difficult things in have done in my life. I certainly hope that it is going to end up being worth it in the end! But hey...I'm one week post-op!!!
Onward and upward!
K
Congrats on week 1! Not sure how "positive" a congrats is, considering everything you have been through, but I have been keeping up with the daily posts, and I am hopeful that your week 2 will be MUCH better. And BRAVO to Mark and Jeff for being the supporters that they are! Until next time...
ReplyDeleteLena
Thanks, Lena. The ups and downs are all part of the journey. Any congrats for making it through whatever comes is always a positive in my book. So again, thanks. Mark has been my rock through this so endeavor and definitely is worth his weight in gold to me. I hope he doesn't collapse on you guys when he gets back to work. Definitely...here is week #2. With the new strategy, things are already looking up!
ReplyDeleteTake care, K
Kim:
ReplyDeleteI'll be sure to have a couch in Mark's office for when he gets back :)
Lena
Keep up the good work. If anyone can, you can do it. You need your big comfortable recliner. Drugs are good too. Everyone at Cobb asks about you all the time. I told them Mark signed you up for the 15K run in Barcelona.
ReplyDeleteMo- good God woman! You really pumped it up. I thought it was only a 5K? LOL! Tell everyone I said "hi" and I'll be home soon. Hope all is well. Miss ya!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
K
Lena,
ReplyDeleteThat would be great!! :-)
K
Kim,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you've been unable to get out and see the city, but given that you've had three levels done, that's no surprise. Your recovery is sounding pretty typical from what I've read of other multi-level lumbar recoveries.
Congratulations on getting the surgery done and on the road away from this decades old pain. Here's to your continued steady improvement!
Good luck, Jeff (jss from adrsupport.org)
Oh, I so feel your pain. I had a really bad week at week 2 and wondered what the heck I had done to myself, crying standing in a hot shower all night. I promise you'll be different soon, with a bit of a roller coaster ride for several weeks. Once you get some sleep, it helps. Don't try to wean off pain meds just yet... do keep a routine up whether you need it or not. They work better when they don't have to play catch up and you're already in crisis.
ReplyDeleteCouple of other suggestions:
A blow up seat cushion if you can find one (drug store?)for when you are out. I brought one from home I'd bought online from a camping company. Maybe a small pillow if you can't find one?
Vicki from ADR support and I both used this trick on the hard bed: Use an extra comforter to make the mattress a little more plush. My husband actually moved the box springs and mattress (twin) from the spare room to the family room so I would have the TV and not have to sit on the soggy couch. We made the bed as good as it could get, but I screamed with joy the first time I got in my own bed! Keep hanging in there. The flight was tiring but not painful.
Jeff,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement. I hate that I haven't been able to see more of Barcelona, too! :-( Howver, my main goal was the surgery and getting to a point that i would be able to fly home with minimal issue. We actually met a group of wonderfully inviting women who want to take myself, husband and brother- in- law out seeing the " real" Barcelona tomorrow, but I think I will need to pass, even though I hate to have to say no. As mark has stated, maybe we'll come back after I'm all healed and living again.
Joey Sue,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the continued support. I appreciate everything you offer me. I will look into the blow up cushion. I didn't even think about moving the mattress from the guest room. Pretty much it has been me and my Kindle or when I was feling better, borrowing Mark's iPad to link to the outer world beyond the bedroom.
As far as pain, I definitely agree that I won't be switching my routine for the next couple of weeks. The funny thing is, as I was telling Mark (when he was telling me to stop being so stubborn about the meds), I tell all my hip and knee patients after their replacements that they need to stay ahead because if they Re feeling increased pain it is already too late. But for years I wouldn't take anything stronger than Ibuprofen 800mg unless absolutely necessary. As I wrote though, this is a new pain for me and something I wasn't ready for so hopefully, now I have some sleeping pills and I can get back on track!
Hi Kim, my name is Dimesha and I am new to Care Coordination over in the Women's Center on the weekends. We've of course not yet met but I am wishing you the best of luck with your recovery and look forward to meeting you. Get better and have a wonderful holiday season!
ReplyDeleteDimesha,
ReplyDeleteIt is awesome to have your well wishes. I hope everything is going well with your orientation. Sorry that I haven't been there to help with your training and orientation, but I know that the ladies will take good care of you. I'm going to try and come to the Christmas party so hopefully, I will be able to meet you then. If not, then I hope you have a wonderful holiday season, as well!